
Gabriella Herkert
Catnapped and Doggone
Ah, a life of crime. No mystery writer who denies that they have thought maybe, just maybe, they could get away with “it,” is telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Yes, we write clues and cops and justice for all endings but we just can’t help ourselves. We, on some level, think that if we were to take up that lifestyle, the one on the wrong side of the law, we’d be good (or bad depending on your point of view), really really good.
Despite writing murder mysteries, I’d rather be a thief than a killer. In fact, I intend, oops, I imagine, I would be so smooth as a thief that no one would ever get hurt much less killed. But of course, if I am going to be that elegant (go with me here, especially those who know how unelegant I actually am), I’d need to steal something as interesting and sophisticated as I am. There won’t be any 7-11 stick up jobs for me. And no robbing the post office – jeez, don’t people realize they don’t have any cash and it’s a federal rap? No, I am going to liberate the talismans of my new, sophisticated (and unafraid of the big house) self – art and jewels.
Art makes sense because the value of certain pieces makes the risk worth it. Also, why quit a winner? I don’t know why but it seems that truly valuable paintings go on regular walkabouts. Granted, in this economy, the buying pool might be more limited than before but then again we’re talking about the truly wealthy who aren’t afraid of a little receiving stolen goods arrest. They’re probably the people making money out of the current crisis.

Maybe not.

Maybe I’ll go with the Stewart Gardner Museum ploy. Wear a police uniform, walk into the museum and tell everyone you are responding to a burglar alarm. Then, handcuff the “suspects” who happen to be the security staff. Help yourself to $300 million and wave on your way out the door. Never caught despite being seen by the security personnel. Reminds me a little of helping myself to a water buffalo during a prisoner of war exercise at military school. Act like you belong and people assume you do. Plus a uniform tends to blur the facial recognition of witnesses. All they see is blue. Added bonus – rule followers take instruction from police without question including, in the case of the poor security guys, putting your hands behind your back and letting the “cops” cuff you. Hard to live that one down for them but for the thief, maximum style points and $300 million is nothing to sneeze at provided you have a buyer lined up. Even at fifty cents on the dollar, that’s quite a day’s pay. I could see myself doing that.
Unlike art, which has to be sold whole, a jewel theft leaves you with options. The jewels won’t be worth as much cut up but they are much harder to trace and

Thanks for reading and if anyone asks, I was here all the time. Except starting next week when you can find my blog on Fridays, alternating weeks with the amazing Meredith Cole. Trying to ameliorate Shane withdrawal will not be easy, even my Mom is mourning, but we'll do our best.
5 comments:
Love the historical tidbits in your blog, Gabi--great combo--art and crime! Thanks for the post.
I think you would make a terrific art thief. The museums of the world are lucky that you have instead decided to concentrate on crime only in your writing...
Looking forward to blogging with you on Fridays, Gabi!
I can totally see you fencing art and jewels in a sophisticated black dress and pearls, with Cary Grant on your arm.
I always thought the easiest art to steal would be the stuff kept in private castles, stuff that's been 'in the family' forever.
Not that we would EVER do that. And we were together when that painting disappeared. At the beach.
Thanks for the fun post. Cheers~
After you're done with the art and the jewels, you might want to try 17th-century Chinese vases. I see that one just sold at auction for $69.5 million. A nice haul, and you can put flowers in it while waiting for a black-market buyer.
A great post, Gabi.
Post a Comment